Category:
Lawyers
July 4, 2008
Chosen for Jury Duty
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot.
Category:
Retired life
& Sex
June 30, 2008
Their Golden Anniversary
An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
Category:
Idiot
June 27, 2008
Idiot Sightings
For once, an item that doesn't insist "These are really true!" ...yet they probably are.
Idiot Sighting: The hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large enough" motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two." We haven't used Sears repair since.
Category:
Retired life
& Sex
June 25, 2008
The Nursing Home
Two residents of an old folk's home were sitting alone in the lobby one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5.00 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."
June 23, 2008
Our National Parks
This went through my inbox in June 1996 -- supposedly true stories relayed by the park rangers in Our National Parks.
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Hello? Taxi Service?
In 1994, a woman visiting from the Bay Area embarked on a solo hike to the summit of El Capitan in Yosemite. When she became lost and saw a storm brewing, she called 911 from her cellular phone and asked to be rescued. A helicopter found her barely off the trail and one-fourth to half a mile from the top of El Cap. When the 'copter lifted off and the woman saw how close she was to her summit goal, she asked the crew to set her down on top. When the crew declined, she threatened to sue them for kidnapping.
Category:
Showbiz
& True Story
June 20, 2008
More Hollywood Squares Classics
A wonderful follow-on to the Hollywood Squares Classics post from four years ago.
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Peter Marshall: True or false, George: experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.
George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.
Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
