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The European Commission has announced an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU -- rather than German. As part of the negotations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English Spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish.
The agreed plan is as follows:
In year 1, the soft 'c' would replaced by the 's'.
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be replaced by 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'. This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%.
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Head of the Household
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
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Passing Along Important Knowledge
A goodie from my buddy Dave, who knows the importance of passing along knowledge.
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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied the floating survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son," the Dad shark said to the Son shark. They swam to the mass of people.
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