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Category: Travel

May 29, 2015

Travel to Australia

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were supposedly posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the supposed actual responses by the website officials.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney -- can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so take lots of water.

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Category: Idiot

May 27, 2015

The Purina Diet

Definitely NOT for the easily offended, so if that's you, move on....

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A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.

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Category: Medical

May 25, 2015

Night Terrors

Frank went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble: Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

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