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Category: Work

October 24, 2014

New Rules For The Office

Effective Immediately:

SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs -- you should not consider removing anything, since we hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

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Category: Work

October 22, 2014

Work and Prison Compared

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

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Category: Retired life

October 20, 2014

Thoughts on Aging

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

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